Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Goiters, Garters, Girdles, Here I Go Again.

There's something that suits me about putting three like sounding words together, especially when they begin with the same letter.  And rhyme.

Out of all three of 'em, only garter really has a couple meanings.  When combined with snake, we're talking about a fascinating, harmless, slithering creature usually found within a garden.  When combined with belt, we're talking about an altogether different sort of harmless fascination that is usually found surrounding a garden upon a sumptuous creature.

A goiter is an unusual enlargement of the thyroid gland.  The most common cause of a thyroid goiter worldwide is a lack of iodine. Treatment depends on the size of the goiter.  If it's small, you may just need to add some salt to your fries.  If it's big, like the size of a small elephant, it may need to be surgically removed.  Or gnawed off by a large rodent.  Which would be a lot cheaper.  But you'd probably need to wander the sewers of  Buenos Aries or tap one of the GOP presidential contenders to find a rat big enough to gnaw off something the size of an endangered species.

The first girdle I ever saw was a neighbor lady's.  I was probably seven years old.  I was at Chuck's Grandma's house, which was around the corner and up a house or two from the duplex we called home.

I was sitting there, playing with a toy truck in the dirt, not really trying to be a spy.  All of a sudden the house next door's front door opened and I noticed a brunette thirty something lady stick her head out and look around.  Then, seemingly assured there was no onlooker, she quickly darted out of the door a few paces to the mail box which was on the wall of the front porch.  One arm was draped over her naked breasts and a white girdle was draped around her nether region.

She stood there for a second or two with her back to me, retrieved her mail and then darted back in the door.  The entire episode lasted maybe seven seconds, but I was enthralled.  That was the first time I had seen a female other than my mother in her underwear.  I found it substantially more intriguing.  That incident, no doubt, began my life long appreciation of women's lingerie. 

So what have I really been doing around the old homestead here these last couple months while espousing past travel escapades and congenial witticisms?

Well, I did borrow my bro in laws ultra log splitter and split and stacked about four cords of firewood.  Probably more.  And that was after I drug up some pretty decent rounds from the Lower Forty.  I needed help on several of the larger ones, the were about the size of Tunisia.  Weighed about as much too.  Who needs a gym when I'm working every single muscle doing this basic country chore?

This year I ended up with a lot more wood than we usually burn each winter.  That's because we had to cut down a tree that would have potentially taken out a power pole.  Which then would have blocked the road.  Probably start a flaming inferno.  Possibly world war three.  So PG&E took out the dangerous half.  My tree guy took out the other half.  There was an easy two cords of wood in that monster.

Besides saving money by not needing a gym, we also save a lot of money that would otherwise be paying for propane.  We burn wood for heat and also hang our laundry when it's not raining.  Which, you know, would be rather counter productive.  This year I ditched the hillbilly clothesline






and added a real one.  That door right there on the left is where the washer and dryer are located.

By doing these two things we manage to keep our propane use and cost pretty low.  Last year we spent about $300.00 for propane.  That's not a typo, that was for the entire year!  This year we've spent $118.37 so far and the tank is still 40% full.  Besides a gas heater and clothes dryer, the only other gas appliance we have is the range.  And in case you were wondering, our electric bill averages about $80.00 per month.   For a 4/3 2100 square foot home.  Yeah, we're trying to keep our foot print low.

I also had a couple leaks on the chicken shack roof that needed a little Henry's Wet Patch, which is a tar based product you can use in the middle of a rain storm.  Good stuff.  I've been using it for years, both in dry weather as well as in the rain.

Then I had a couple week project caulking and painting two sides of the sun room.  Somewhere along the line this last summer I noticed a little dry rot around a couple of the window frames.  Those two sides face south west and receive the brunt of the rain storms when they come blowing through.  Plus there's very little eave protection  So it was caulk and paint time.  They're now good to go and should last substantially longer than they did before. 



All brush by the way, no tape.  The secret is to paint the trim first, then it's pretty easy to just cut in the wall, saving the time and expense on tape.  Which doesn't work half the time anyway.

Back in June of this year we had buttoned up our perimeter with the installation of the driveway gate and Front Fence Offensive.  Once that was installed we enjoyed about a month and a half without any breach by Bambi and her ravenous biker buddies.  But then one morning I noticed a few of the roses had been nibbled on.  And the tomato and potato plants were raped as well.  Son of a bitch we had a breach!

I eventually found the culprit resting on the North Forty.  Resting!  After raping my plants.  I shooed her around the property to uncover her route of ingress, which was ultimately discovered on the southern portion of the hillbilly line.

The hillbilly line consists of homeboys original four foot high ranch fencing, which I have heightened to roughly eight feet by utilizing manzanita posts and barbed wire.  Frigging Bambi found an isosceles triangle a little larger than a show box between barbed wire(s) and jumped through.  Like a hula hoop, only much smaller.  And triangular.

Over the course of the next couple weeks I continued to find leaks in various portions of the hillbilly line, which I dutifully buttoned up with more fencing and wire.  I was sure I had the perimeter deer secure when one morning I discovered a doe and fawn inside.  I was livid.  How the hell they get in?

Once again a deer chase ensued, and during said chase the doe and fawn were separated.  I managed to get the doe out by opening the driveway gate and shooing her out.  Then I went to look for the fawn but couldn't find the dang mini predator anywhere. 

Over the course of five years I have learned a lot about my plant raping adversary.  I learned a lot more during the final phase of buttoning this property up.  The height of my fence was fine.  But as I poured over the northern section inch by inch I discovered they were getting in UNDER a portion of the manzanita line, not over.  A quick simple fix, and once that opening was closed there have been no further breaches.  It's been over three months now, and that time frame includes summer months where they have no green food in the wild and will voraciously pursue any watered garden.  Especially one that contains roses, their crack cocaine.  Or their Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries, depending on your cereal view of the world.

The other major deal this old man had been contending with is getting a pad cut for the soon to come 2825 gallon water tank.  It's location was chosen because the front down spout dumps into an underground irrigation line that runs underneath the lawn and then dumps out right below the picket fence. 

So I got my trusty pick and shovel and got to work.

 Start a little
Outside in, the top cut is about four and a half feet deep. 

That's about nine hours spaced out over four days.  I tossed the dirt to the left of the pad to build an embankment for the future trail down.   Legs, back, shoulders, arms, neck, spleen.  I used 'em all.  Who needs a gym?



And today, just prior to going to press, guess what got delivered? 


Why, our 2,825 gallon water tank.  "Bertha" fit perfectly within the leveled area.  And the three fellas at Byers that delivered the tank were aces.  Roofs, gutters, water tanks, and now solar.  They're a bunch of great guys with a nifty line of great time and energy saving products for your home.  Give 'em a call today.  800-977-5323


Here's the view from the front porch.  You can barely make out the top of the tank behind the picket fence.  Which is, coincidentally just about exactly how I pictured it would be.  I love it when a plan comes together.  From that location I will be able to gravity irrigate most of the front forty. 

Remember:  Every 1" of rain on 1,000 square foot of roof area will yield around 600 gallons of water.  Since I've got about 500 square feet of roof area that will be dumping into the tank, that means we're only going to need around 9.5 inches of rain this year to fill it up.  And since we've received around 32 inches each of these last two drought years I think it'll be a lock to fill 'er up.


Once we get a little more rain to soften up the upper hillside, I will be making a slice about ten inches deep to allow water to run towards the side instead of right over the middle and saturating the Red Riffs of Rover.

I lied.  I apparently had a little excess energy to burn this morning so I just done trenched it.  With a shovel. 




I have no idea how it happened.  I just went up to see how grueling it was going to be and ended up trenching about 150 feet.  By hand.  It took about 2 hours. 

Well, I've been saying the Immunocal I recently started consuming has increased my energy... 

I have one other immediate outdoor chore (besides regular brush pile burning) to do over the winter: make heads and tails out of this mess, the stair way to no where.


I have a plan, I think.  You'll see, one way or the other.  I'll keep ya posted. 

In the meantime, enjoy this wonderful, cooler autumn weather, especially all you Californians out there.  We'll be heading up to Lake Tahoe for an extended weekend, it's one of our favorite places on the planet.   Especially this time of year.  We were going to go there last year at this time and see the Psychedelic Furs, but my appendix got in the way.  I'll be covering my life long love affair with that lake in my next post. 

Until then, stay weird.


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

All Aboard!

I recently took an Amtrak train  to San Francisco with a good buddy a month or so ago.  We were going to a SF Giants game at AT&T Park where they were also celebrating 50 years of the Grateful Dead.  Yeah, it's kinda nice that our home town baseball team happens to be from a city that also has an outrageous rock scene that dates back to the 1960's.  We're fairly blessed too when it comes to local rock luminaries hanging out and sometimes singing the national anthem.

I've seen Jerry, Bob and Vince all sing together (which goes back a ways since two of them are now truly gratefully dead), Huey Lewis and the News, the two guitarists of Metallica doing a stunning instrumental version, and Santana, also doing an instrumental, to name a few.  We also routinely get Steve Perry, the former lead singer of Journey, directing the crowd while they sing his song, "Don't Stop Believing."

This 50 year Grateful Dead Anniversary was a little different national anthem wise.  One of Jerry's daughters, Annabelle Garcia, was going to sing a duet with Bill Walton, former NBA superstar and long time Dead Head.  Only the powers that be I think shut Bill's mike down after the first few warbled words left his mouth.  Either that or he shut it down himself and lip synced when he figured out he was really just a retired athlete and had no business trying to sing the national anthem.  Anytime.  Anywhere.  Even in the shower.  He couldn't hold a candle to Annabelle, who did an exceptional job, making those high notes soar.

They also gave away free anniversary t-shirts, which we were going to forego except we ran into a chum who was like 20th in a line of about 25,000.  So we hung with him and his wrecking crew for a while, but it was still an unbelievable fiasco.  The shirts didn't arrive until about the 2nd inning.  Some folks waited in line the entire game, we fortunately only had to wait about an hour.

I bring up the shirt because I wore it on the train ride back the next day.  A youngster in his early twenties saw it and then excitedly exclaimed he just saw the Dead when they recently played in Chicago.  He asked if I was there.

"Nah," I said, "I saw them quite a few times back in the 70's at Winterland."

"Ah," he responded, "The real Dead.  With Jerry and everything."

"Yep," I smiled, "Weren't nothing like it."

My lovely wife and I also took the train to the Bay Area another few weeks back for our youngest Grandson's first birthday.  It was the third weekend in a row we were traveling to the bay for family obligations and I just didn't want to drive the Daytona 500 speedway one more time.

The train offers a lovely diversion from all the non-signalling tail gating speed freaks that have now become rampant and the norm on California's highways.  Which brings me to my road way pet peeves.

This one kills me.  Every time.  The folks that turn on their signal as they begin their turn.  Like, why bother?  We already know, NOW.  It would have been nice to know about ten seconds ago though, when you first began your speed descent and dropped me down to 10 MPH..

I love most of the folks out here in the country on two lane roads.  If someone is behind them, and they know because they actually use their rear view mirrors, they'll flip their blinker on about a quarter mile ahead of their upcoming turn.  I'm not quite that insane, but if someone is behind me, and I know because I actually look in my rear view mirror too, I'll give them a good hundred yard heads up.  If I'm dropping someone behind me almost down to zero mph I think they have a right to know why.

Like, is there a hazard in the road up ahead?  A lost child?  A vagrant dog?  A goat?  A clown with a kazoo?   

Folks, use your mirrors and give the person behind you some advance notice if you're turning.  Please.  Especially if it's me.

Speaking of the person behind you, what's up with the prevalence of tailgaters these days?  I mean, it seems like everybody in this state is now driving like they're from Southern California.  All the time.  You used to have to go down there to experience that wide open assault.  Now it's everywhere.  Ever wonder why when there's a highway accident these days it usually involves a motorcycle, a semi and 57 cars?

And then when you do leave a reasonable space between you and the car in front of you someone comes along and pushes their booty right in.  I remember one time we were traveling north up the middle of the state on Interstate 5, returning from a Thanksgiving feast at our son's in San Diego.

Traffic was fierce, and if you left an inch of space between you and the car in front some butthole pushed their way right on in.  I remember honking at one fervently crazy bitch that almost clipped our front bumper.   She backed off but then gave me a dirty look like I was the bad guy.  I mean, W.T.F.  What's wrong with people anymore?  Whatever happened to safety and respect?

People, be safe.  Leave at least four seconds of space between you and the car in front of you.  If you're tailgating anywhere above thirty mph you cannot react in time to avoid hitting something.  Like the idiot in front of you that just hit his brakes because he's turning.  Had he used his signal properly maybe he saves both your sorry asses.

Then there's the vapidly vacuous pathetically unaware moron blithely cruising along on the two lane highway just below the speed limit.  Then, when a passing lane appears, he speeds up, making passing him more difficult than it should have been.

It happened to me so often when I was on the road for a few years that I began to think these really were  mean people.  Passive aggressive BS.  But when I looked at their faces as I passed I became aware that these people had not a clue.  They had no idea another vehicle was within a hemisphere of them, let alone behind them.  They were just mindlessly ambling along in their own little world.  When a passing lane comes along the asphalt expands.  So they feel safer or something and speed up.   Or maybe they feel they have to obey the speed limit signs which bumped up the limit by 10.  But then they ignore the ones that say "Slower traffic use right lane."

I dunno.  I'm baffled.

And then more than half the time you end up having to pass them in the right lane, you know, the lane slower vehicles are supposed to move over to.

Sigh.

I don't know about you, but I hate it when someone is on my rear.  I pull over as soon as it's safe.  Or, if we come to a passing lane I maintain my same speed and pull into the right lane.  Pretty simple, really.  It's just a matter of, um, paying attention when you're behind the wheel of a couple ton, steel angel of potential death.

Then there's that same oblivious chimpanzee behind the wheel on a three lane freeway, passing the car next to him at the same speed.   Only, you know, if he's going the same speed he's not really passing anything.  So then you get a snarling pack of Daytona drivers stacking up behind the chimp and the asleep at the wheel next to him.

In the meantime, the right lane is completely open for miles sometimes.  Which is where you'll find me, zipping along in the lane less traveled.

My daughter and I have developed a couple alternative routes as far as getting from here to there is concerned.  Several routes designed to completely avoid Interstate 80.

Nope.  I'm not sharing.  Otherwise, well, you know, they won't be alternate routes anymore.

In the meantime, we, as a family, have discovered Amtrak.  From our locale here in the Sierra Nevada Foothills we can pick up the train at three fairly close locations.

We can do the Capitol Corridor, which is the commuter train that runs mainly from Sacramento to ultimately San Jose, a couple of ways.  We can drive to Sacramento, an hour away, and pick it up almost any time.  They run just about hourly out of there westward as they do eastward.

If we don't want to drive to Sacramento, we can pick up the Capitol Corridor in Auburn, a scant thirty minutes away.  But they only have two times of the day that the train runs all the way to Auburn.  An early morning commute leaves westbound around 6:30 and arrives from it's Eastbound run around that same time in the evening.  You can still park at the Auburn station at any time of the day and then take an Amtrak bus down to Sacramento.  That, also, runs almost hourly.

Another option, the one I most recently took, is the Zephyr, which you can pick up out of Colfax, Ca, a scant twenty-five minutes away.  The Zephyr runs from Emeryville in the West to Chicago in the East, with a zillion stops in between.   There's a few stops between here and Emeryville too, but they typically only last a couple minutes.

Before I forget, an absolute must watch hilarious train adventure movie is the 1976 Silver Streak.  This flick is the first of several combining the genius comedy buddy team talents of Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor.  It also stars a rather gorgeously steamy Jill Clayburgh.  If you haven't seen it, check it out. 

I went on this last train adventure all by myself.  I was ultimately heading down to AT&T Park for a father daughter date to see the Giants and Dodgers.  It was her idea.  She'd never seen the Dodgers and bought the tickets for us as a Father's Day present.  As a matter of fact, I got three pairs of Giants tickets for Father's Day this year.  Like, someone must think I'm a fan or something.

The morning of my departure my world was frantic as usual.  The train was passing eastbound through Colfax around 11:50 AM, so I did have time to get most of my chores and obligations done.  I came up here to the office about an hour and a half before my train departure time, about an hour before I was planning on leaving for the station.

I opened up all my usual half dozen windows, and on one of those intuitive hunches I thought I'd better check my train status.  They've been known to run late.  I might have a little more time.

Or not.  Holy cow, the Zephyr was running 45 minutes early!  I had no time.  I had to fly.  Good thing I'm  OCD.  Or ACDC.  Or whatever I am.  I had pretty much been ready to go four days prior.  Checked and re-checked. 

It's two lane country highway all the way to Colfax from here, and I made pretty good time cruising at 45-50 MPH with minimal resistance.  You know, other cars.  It was all going great until I hit the part that had a flagman and about fifteen stopped vehicles in front of me.  Aaaargh!  I looked at my watch.  I was still five minutes away.

"I can still make it," I thought.

"Or not," I thought again.

Somehow I managed to breathe throughout the five minute delay and then resumed the eight minute, 25 MPH, fifteen vehicle parade ride into Colfax.

Fortunately it's a very small town and the train station is right in the middle.  Once I arrived I breathlessly discovered something that every train traveling novice should be aware of.  Your train will NEVER be ahead of schedule, they will never leave before your station's scheduled departure time.  They may be late, but they will never be ahead of schedule.

Whew!  So then I had an extra forty-five minutes of time to kill.  So I bought a Powerball ticket and discovered the little town of Colfax is named after Schuyler Colfax, who was a US Representative and Vice President under Ulysses Grant.  Apparently he was somewhat instrumental in getting the railroad over the Sierras.  Or something like that.  The old dude is also remarkably popular.  No less than eight towns across the country are named after him.  So is a county or two.  Go figure.

The train was right on time and the conductor met me at the bottom steps.  I was the only one hopping aboard from that one horse country stop.  He scanned my ticket and within a minute we were rolling down the tracks.  I ambled up to the top deck and easily found a double window seat on the side I wanted.  The train was not crowded at all.

The Zephyr is different than the Capitol Corridor in a couple ways.  First of all, there's no Wifi.  No interstellar surfing, better enjoy the scenery.  The Cap Corridor does have Wifi, probably because it is primarily a commuter train.

The seats are different too.  Although spacious and graced with a number of tables, the leg room on the Cap Corridor has nothing on the Zephyr.  Basketball players can lounge in comfort on the Zephyr.  There's almost enough room to play a basketball game between you and the seat in front.  It's quite expansive, with reason, of course.

That would be because many folks, those traveling economically and who don't want to pay for a sleep car, can actually set up camp and sleep in the seats.  The back tilts waay back and there's a number of inventive leg rests and pull outs to make what I will surmise is a decent enough sleep space.  If you're into public slumber.

The actual train ride is ultra fabulous.  It's like riding in a 1973 Cadillac Coupe de Ville, only better.  The only thing really missing was a sub woofer, which, to be effective on this sized vehicle would need to be about the size of Canada.  Then we'd a been really happening.

The scenery coming down from the Sierras is lovely.  I guess that's why I live here.  It looked tinder box dry, but still lovely.  We passed right by Auburn and picked up speed as we came out of the hills, blazing right into the Roseville station.  A quick stop there and we were off to Sacramento.

There's a big difference in train stations in all these towns by the way.  Colfax and Auburn are quite small as you might imagine.  Auburn's almost non-existent as a matter of fact.  If you need to you can buy a ticket from a machine.  There's no human interface.  Colfax, on the other hand, has a lovely little station with marginally attractive humans.  The station includes a wonderful little museum, hearkening back the days of railroad yore and lore.


Roseville also serves as a freight train station and hence has about 147 tracks compared to the 2 at Auburn and Colfax.  The human station at Roseville looks small but nice, although I've never been off the train there.  I have no idea if they have a machine or humans, marginally attractive or not. 

The Sacramento station is obviously the largest of all four, an old brick anthem to the industry's glory days.  The interior is currently undergoing a face lift with tarps and scaffolding everywhere.  There are a number of humans at the Sacramento station.

It's also a few hundred yard hike from the actual Sacramento station over to the railroad tracks.  Plug that into your equation if you're running behind.  You'll really be running, trust me.

Access at the other three stations is easy.  They all sit about twenty feet from the tracks.  Parking is also free at Colfax and Auburn, not sure about Roseville.  It costs $10.00 a day to park at the Sacramento station. 

Parking at Colfax or Auburn and taking the Amtrak bus to Sacramento ends up being a bit cheaper, but it also takes a little longer than if you drove your own vehicle to the Sacramento station.  The bus has stops in Roseville and Rocklin on the way to Auburn.  Plus, if you have a lovely wife like I do that is traveling with you, it's doubtful you'll be taking the bus.  Anywhere. 

Every town you pass through, whether little or big, offers it's own kind of railroad track ambiance.  Typically commercial and industrial areas of a town or municipality surround the railroad tracks.  And usually all the crap of those business get stacked in the back near the track.  Cause you can bank this: there ain't no front yards  facing the track, it's all back.

You also get an invasive look into many decrepit residential back yards.  It seems like most of the homes sitting on the railroad tracks are rentals.  Or are owned by individuals whose potential interest in landscape or home improvement is usually obliterated by the first beer of the morning.  Their sole mission of the day will be to go down to the corner liquor store for more beer and a pack of cigarettes.

There's also a lot of homelessness along the tracks, which is where the previous homeowner is going to eventually end up if he doesn't stop smoking cigarettes.  Those things are expensive.  Ramshackle tarps, tents and plastic shanty's dot the train track landscape, as did a lot of surrounding litter and many tell tale blackened remnants of spot fires.  It appears many of our homeless population are a bit derelict when it comes to flames.

Once you're a mile or so out of a town the homeless camps cease and unabashed glorious scenery comes back into view.  The train flew over the Yolo Bypass, keeping abreast of the many Datona drivers jockeying along the interstate.  There's a quick stop in Davis and then out to the bad land flats behind Vacaville and Fairfield.

Initially we cruised by tidy crops and orchards, with many classic old farm houses dating back to the 1920's.  Some of them probably in the same family since that time.  Then we pushed into quite fertile delta land, with water filled canals winding around and through.  This terrain was mostly uninhabited except for a number of well maintained duck hunting clubs situated here and there.

We crossed over the Carquinez Bridge, which is the largest railroad bridge West of the Mississippi.  The bridge was not as nicely painted as, say, the Golden Gate Bridge or a Norman Rockwell painting though.  As a matter of fact, most of the massive steel beams seemed to be sporting an inordinate amount of rust.
I guess since each one is about sixteen feet thick there's a little room for decay.

I like the right or north side of the west bound train because it offers extraordinary views of the Carquinez straight and shoreline.  Although the south side of the train affords a better view when passing through the flat lands and delta.  The good news is that I've yet been on a train where I couldn't move around to catch the best view.  There's always been a ton of room.  Which is why maybe the bridge is rusting.  They need more passengers.

Once you cross the bridge you cruise along the south shore of the straight along the Carquinez Straight Regional Shoreline, an East Bay Park comprising of 1415 acres of bluffs and shoreline between the towns of Crockett and Martinez.   Both town have rich histories dating back to the late 1800's.  You can still see the remnants of many old rotting piers, a throwback to an almost forgotten commercial fishing industry. 

That side also offers a great glimpse of the still functioning wonka land looking five story C&H Sugar plant, which sits right between the tracks and the shore.  C&H moved in to what was originally the Old Star Mill in 1906, the brick building dates all the way back to 1880.  That refinery still processes over 700 thousand tons of cane sugar annually.  You barely get a glimpse of the C&H sign when you're traveling the highway, you get a great view of the entire facility when cruising Amtrak.

The train also passes through a huge oil refinery mega palooza land near the town of Martinez.  Massive, towering tanks of flammable ooze are everywhere.  A maze of all sorts and sizes of pipes connect these to smaller, steam emitting orbs that are interconnected to another maze of pipes and fantastic things.  It's endless.  A million miles of metal connecting everything to nothing.  It's a petroleum matrix.

Apparently there are two refineries in this vast lola palooza land of crude, noxious vapor.  Shell owns one, and it's been in operation since 1915.  It sits on about 1,000 acres and converts 165,000 barrels of crude oil a day into automotive gasoline, jet fuel, diesel, petroleum coke, industrial fuel oils, liquefied petroleum gas, asphalt, and sulfur.

The other refinery is owned by Tesoro.  It sits on 2,200 acres and converts 166,000 barrels of crude oil a day into cleaner-burning California Air Resources Board (CARB) gasoline and CARB diesel fuel, as well as conventional gasoline and diesel fuel. The refinery also produces heavy fuel oils, liquefied petroleum gas and petroleum coke.  What ever that is.

Martinez is also a train stop, and from there it's a scant thirty minutes into Emeryville, our usual point of debarkation.  Both the Cap Corridor and Zephyr stop there, with the Cap continuing on all the way south to San Jose.  But it's the end of the line for the Zephyr, which turns around for its return trip to Chicago the following day.

If you're going to San Francisco this is also your stop.  From Emeryville you take an Amtrak bus over the Bay Bridge into the city, where there are a couple different bus stops.  It's actually a pretty darn efficient system.

Our kids live in Oakland, about ten minutes from the Emeryville station.  Our son in law works about thirty seconds from the Emeryville station.  He's taken the late Cap Corridor numerous times up to Auburn.  It's a family affair.

I had to wait a few minutes for my daughter to pick me up, my train actually arrived in Emeryville about forty minutes early.  So I guess it can arrive early when there are no more passengers to pick up.  She'd had a pretty hectic day, dialing in three kids and their separate after school activities.  All that fun stuff.  We hit her house, met the babysitter and then were off on our date.

It was a quick ten minute drive down to Jack London Square, where we parked the car.  Then we ambled over to Heinhold's First and Last Chance Saloon, which has been open in its current location since 1883, making it the oldest bar in the San Francisco Bay Area.  It definitely has a lot of charm and history, and looks a little out of place amid all the newer finery that Jack London Square has now become.  It's a little quirky, but definitely worth a stop and a sip if you're in the area.

From Heinhold's we ambled over to the ferry terminal.  There we boarded a boat with a couple hundred other Giants fans, it would drop us off right outside the ball park.  It's actually cheaper to take the ferry than it is to park at the stadium.  By the way.  Plus the ferry folks validate your parking ticket so that becomes free.  That's ferry by the way, not fairy.  Which, by the way, I have no problem with.  Depending on what we're talking about. 

The only negative for me is the ferry arrives about ten minutes before the first pitch.  I breathe baseball, so I don't mind sipping some stadium air for a while before a game begins.  Ten minutes ain't a lot of time, we had to hustle.  I got the brats, she got the drinks.  We found our seats.  We also lost the game.

We were still in the playoff hunt going into that game, but we couldn't afford one more loss.  Which happened.  We had to walk out at the beginning of the ninth.  We were behind 8-0 at that point, Kershaw was cruising and there was NO WAY I was going to sit there and watch LA celebrate their division clinch on our field.  No way.

So we listened to the crowd instead as we waited to board the ferry for the return trip.  There's also a ferry that runs up to Vallejo, so there ended up being a couple of lines forming for the ferries.  When folks wearing LA gear asked specific line location questions I sent them in the wrong direction.  It was the least I could do.

Although the game was terrible, I cannot say how wonderful it was spending some time with my darling daughter.  Alone.  It was simply marvelous.  The last time we did it was a couple years back when we went to see "The Sound of Music" at the Julia Morgan Playhouse in Berkeley.  We used to date all the time when she was a little girl.

We didn't have to do anything specific back then.  Just go somewhere.  Anywhere.  Down the block.  Just spend some time alone with that curious, innocent little mind.

Sigh.  That's enough right there to make a grown man cry.

I spent the night on the living room sofa and was greeted in the morning with the warmest of hugs by another little girl who has also captured my heart.  Then I got to be a part of that amazing pre-school week day/work day morning when chaos and pandemonium abound.  I saw the grand kids off to school and then was dropped off at the train station for the 9:00 AM departure of the east bound Zephyr.  A kiss and a hug and I was on my way.

There were about fifty people waiting to board the train, which wasn't that many considering the size of the beast.  Some were going all the way to Chicago, many, like me, stopping somewhere in between.  Your destination predicated which car would be your "home" base.  Once you were "ticketed" at your seat you were free to roam where ever.

There was, however, a crew car which was off limits.  Also, if you weren't sporting a sleeping car ticket that neck of the train was also off limits.  Still, there was ample room to roam.  They have a restaurant car on the Zephyr for sit down meals and they have a snack type cafeteria bar on both the Zephyr and the Cap Corridor.  You can get sandwiches, snacks, sodas, beers and cocktails.  Besides the dining car, the Zephyr also has an observation car, with floor to ceiling windows.  All aboard!

The bathrooms are quite spacious as compared to air travel, although I didn't notice any showers for those long haul over nighters that are riding economically in coach status.  Without ample perfume that stretch could become onerously odorous.  There are, however, showers in the sleeping cars.

It turned out to be the same train crew that I had the day before.  They're on for the entire fifty-one hour haul, with Chicago being their home base.  They get about five hours of sleep a night according to the cafeteria and bartender guy.  They stay pretty busy too, there's quite a few folks getting on and off the train as it moseys along.

For the most part I have not had a problem as far as the trains running on time.  Unless you consider the old, frail guy in a wheel chair that died somewhere between Emeryville and Sacramento a problem.  That'll slow you down by a couple hours while they wait for the coroner to come.  Trust me.  Where's Angela Lansbury when you need her?

I think I'm going to begin a love affair with the train.  It's a nice, comfortable and roomy ride, and a lot more scenic than a plane.  I mean, how many cloud formations does it take before they all look alike?

It's not much more expensive than driving, especially if it's just one person traveling.  I think I paid about $20.00 more for the convenience of train travel for my round trips to the Bay Area.

I think there is probably enough train travel around this country for a book.  Just traveling the states.  I could be the guy to do it.  I just need to find an editor willing to pay me to do it.  In the meantime, I think I would like to take the Zephyr to Chicago.  For a steak.  And maybe a deep dish pizza.

That would be a great start.

Monday, October 12, 2015

So What The Heck Is Glutathione?

Simply put, Glutathione is the cornerstone of the human immune system.

There, I said it.  Now let that sink in.

-"the cornerstone of the human immune system."

The human body is one of nature's finest miracles and researchers are still unlocking many of its secrets.  Recent discoveries have shed important light on the role glutathione plays in maintaining health and fighting disease.

Most individuals have never heard of glutathione (GSH), however, given the accelerated course of research publications on the subject and the large impact it will have in future health care, the term "glutathione" will shortly become integrated into our everyday language, the same way we use the words "antioxident" or "cholesterol".

Think of GSH as an "AID" for the immune system-Antioxident, Immune Booster and Detoxifier.  This small protein, produced naturally in the body, maintains these three crucial protective functions.  In fact, your life depends on it!  Without GSH your cells would disintegrate from unrestrained oxidation.  Your body would have little resistance to bacteria, viruses and cancer, and your liver would cease functioning from the accumulation of toxins.

In the last thirty years the volume of research on GSH has grown immensely.  A huge variety of theoretical papers, bench-top laboratory experiments, epidemiological studies, animal projects and-most important of all-clinical trials on humans, has linked GSH to an extraordinary variety of illnesses.  The list is long and would be hard to believe were it not for the strength and credibility of the research.

Hundreds of articles have described how elevated GSH levels help combat the infirmities of aging, such as Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's disease, cataract formation, macular degeneration and cancers of aging (e.g. prostate cancer).  GSH depletion is linked with the major causes of morbidity and mortality in North America, including heart disease, stroke, diabetes and infectious disease.  Cancer specialists, pulmonary doctors and physicians dealing with AIDS and hepatitis are paying special attention to natural GSH modulation, as more traditional means have proven less than efficient.

GSH is the body's master antioxidant.  Advances in the study of antioxidants have grown to the point that a whole new branch of medicine has developed called "Free Radical Biology" which focuses on oxidant/antioxidant balance.  These scientists have elaborated upon several hundred different disease processes where antioxidants play a vital role.  The shelves of natural food stores and pharmacies are resplendent with a large array of different antioxidants offered.  What's extraordinary is that none of these antioxidants can work without the presence of GSH.  GSH is responsible for recharging and recycling all of the 4,000-plus antioxidants known to science.

There are over 100,000 articles on GSH in Pub Med, which is the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH) free digital archive of biomedical and life sciences journal literature.  It is the world's leading source of research on scientific and medical articles.

So if GSH is so good for you, how do you raise your levels?

It is vital to clarify one particular aspect of the glutathione story.  When people find out about GSH they want to go to their health store, buy some and "take" it.  Although it can be found as a supplement, eating GSH has negligible effects on your health.  It is quickly broken down in your digestive tract and eliminated.  GSH MUST be manufactured within your cells-which is exactly where it appears-in every cell of your body.  The only way to accomplish this effectively is to give your body the building blocks (precursers) it needs to manufacture GSH for itself.

Some pharmaceutical drugs such as NAC (N-acetyl-cysteine) have been developed to provide these precursers, but there are also natural ways to raise GSH levels.  The most effective way to raise GSH as borne out by medical research is by feeding the individual specific cysteine and cysteine-rich proteins as found in undenatured whey protein isolates.  Immunocal, initially developed at McGill University in Montreal, Quebec, is a nutraceutical product specifically based on whey proteins designed to raise GSH.

This type of natural approach to addressing health concerns is a welcome complement to traditional medicine, which has traditionally marginalized nutritional therapy.  The key to bridging this gap between Western Medicine and Natural Medicine lies in appropriately studying supplements with solid research.

-GSH is a small whey protein that exists naturally in almost every cell of your body
-We could not exist without GSH.  Low levels are associated with sickness and death
-There is a constant demand on your GSH levels from pollution, exercise, aging, infections, stress and
 countless diseases.
-Raising your GSH is not as simple as eating glutathione
-GSH is produced within your cells, therefore, your cells need to have building blocks (precursers)
 to manufacture GSH
-Immunocal is the only natural protein supplement patented to raise GSH

"No other antioxidant is as important to overall health as GSH.  It is the regenerator of immune cells and the most valuable detoxifying agent in the body.  Low levels are associated with early aging and even death."  -The Immune System Cure, Lorna R. Vanderhaeghe & Patrick J.D. Bouis, Ph.D.

"It is well known that aging is accompanied by a precipitous fall in glutathione levels.  Lower GSH levels are implicated in many diseases associated with aging, including cataracts, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's, atherosclerosis and others."  Journal of Clinical Epidemiology 47: 1021-26 1994

"Raised GSH levels fight the oxidation of circulating fats in the bloodstream, including cholesterol, retarding the process of plaque formation in the arteries-the underlying cause for most heart disease and stroke."  Nutrition Reviews 54: 1-30, 1996

"Diabetics are prone to infections and circulatory problems leading to heart disease, kidney failure and blindness.  GSH protects against the complications of diabetes."  Clinical Science 91: 575-582, 1996

"GSH protects the body from the inflammation of gastritis, stomach ulcers, pancreatitis and inflammatory bowell disease including ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease."  Gut 42: 485-492 1998

"Immune depressed individuals have lower glutathione concentrations.  Healthy people also drop their glutathione levels when fighting disease.  Lymphocytes, cells vital for your immune response, depend on glutathione for their proper function and replication."  Immunology 61: 503-508 1987 

"GSH deficiency contributes to oxidative stress and therefore appears to play a key role in the pathology of many diseases..." Glutathione in Health and Disease  Dr. Patricia Kongshavn, MSC, Ph.D. January 2005


Immunocal is scientifically proven to raise glutathione. 

If you are interested in trying Immunocal you can order it directly from any of the Immunocal links on this post.  Just hover and click.  If you have any questions about the product feel free to email me directly at davet19@gmail.com




 

Friday, September 25, 2015

Our Trip To Spain

Back in 1970 when I was a sophomore in high school, I was in a Driver's Education class along with a couple other crazy fellows.  One assignment had the three of us penning a story together about a road trip.  It was pretty funny.   It was called "Our Trip to Spain", which is funny itself because it's pretty hard to drive a car across the Atlantic Ocean.  At least it was the last time I checked.   The teacher thought it was pretty funny too, and if I recall correctly we had to read it aloud to the class.  That's how comedy writers are born. We got an "A".

Roughly twenty six years later one of those co-authors asked this author if he would actually like to go to Spain.  You see, author number one had become quite successful in the fiber optics industry and had to attend an international conference in Madrid.  Ostensibly I was asked along to be his Spanish interpreter, but since 8th grade Espanol is the furthest I pushed that envelope I know otherwise.  Obvious life long chums, our birthdays are also only six days apart.  I'm pretty darn sure it was more of a birthday present than anything else, and because of all his frequent flier miles I am also pretty certain my tag a long cost was minimal.

Since some of our recreational proclivities from high school apparently never left us, we were going to fly into Amsterdam first for a weekend of romping and cafe hopping.  Then it would be off to Madrid on Sunday, four days of business and then another day and night in Amsterdam.  What can I say, that Dutch town is a pretty darn fun place.  Ranks right up there with Paris and San Francisco in my book, and of course it also retains a certain allure for a few of the faithful. 

We left Seattle sometime in the evening, essentially taking a red eye over and arrived at Schipol, Amsterdam's airport, around 8 AM.  We took a train from there to the hotel and amazingly were allowed to check in.  A quick shower and coffee and we were ready to go.

My pal was quite an experienced traveler and had been to Amsterdam before.  Hence I took a back seat and let him drive, only he didn't really drive because we took a train.  Which was great.   He really knew how to get around economically, which we'll get into more once we arrive in Madrid.

It took about ten minutes by train to get to Amsterdam's Central Station, about the same amount of time it had taken us to get from the airport to the hotel.  In case you were interested.

Central Station in Amsterdam is a statuesque, picturesque, glorious work of art.  As opposed to many cities in Europe or anywhere in Germany for that matter, most of the centuries old buildings in Amsterdam are still intact.  Obviously out manned by insurmountable odds when the Nazi's came marching across the border, the Dutch threw up their hands.  Saved the buildings, was still hell for the people.  Just ask Anne Frank.


Looking down Amsterdam's main avenue at the beautiful brick train station always reminds me of Disneyland.  For grown-ups, of course.  Central Station also almost always looks a little like that picture to me.  A little blurry. 

We hit a cafe right off the train, twisted one up and then we were off and running.  Amsterdam is a lovely city, interlaced with bustling streets and flowing canals.  Bicyclists are everywhere, and the "ring ring" of their little bells is a constant sound.  While not overtly rude like many of the brightly colored spandex crowd here, you still stand more of a chance getting run over by a bike than a car.

Historic buildings are everywhere and the city is rife with museums.  With over 60 Amsterdam has the highest museum density in the world.  Absolute highlights are the Anne Frank House, Van Gogh Museum, National Rijksmuseum and Hermitage Amsterdam.

There are a lot of cafes too.  Everywhere there is art and everywhere there is something to help one appreciate art.  Just a little bit more.  Especially Dali.  And Van Gogh.

We ate lunch or dinner somewhere I am sure and then took a stroll through the jam packed with mostly young men streets of the red light district.  There, scantily clad live art sat or stood quite seductively behind glass windowed doors, a small room behind them and a curtain contained a bed.  What few really notice is that the Rossebuurt (what the locals call it-Dutch for ‘pink’ or ‘red’ neighborhood) is in fact one of the oldest and most beautiful parts of the city with its long, winding, narrow, cobbled streets and utterly charming 14th century architecture.

After quite a long day without essentially sleeping the night before, we trundled back to Central Station and hit our hotel around 11:00 PM.  The next morning we awoke about 9:00 AM Europe time, one of my Bud's traveling secrets.  When you first get there stay up and ride 'em hard and as long as you can.  Then when you get up the next morning you're acclimated to Europe time for the rest of the trip.

Coming back is a mother though for me.  Anytime I get back from the East Coast or Europe I'm a mess for days.  I have no idea which way is up.  Something about that time space continuum thing.

We did a quick wake and bake and then went back in to explore the city on our recently acquired elevated awareness level.  We did discover that the hookers in the red light district changed appearance from night to morning.  College coeds and Playboy looking playmates made up the eye popping lingerie or bikini clad sizzlers behind the glass windows at night.  Quilt clad middle-aged Mothers and Over Eaters Anonymous members made up the choice cuts in the morning.   They all did business.  Night and day.

There's something for everybody. 

We ran the city into the ground once again, merging cafe's and culture and simply soaking up and adding to the fabulous energy of that city.  This time we returned to the hotel around 10:00 PM, we had a plane to catch to Madrid at 6:00 AM the next morning. 

Since we did not want to import any of the merriment we purchased in Amsterdam for fear of you know, life incarceration in a foreign country, we endeavored to get higher than the plane was going before we left Schipol.  We did, and we also ended up leaving some merriment on the bench since we had already hit an altitude of 8 Miles.  We figured what the heck?  Someone else might need a little adjustment before their flight.

It was a quick hop from Amsterdam to Madrid, probably just over an hour or so.  My pal had a couple trunk size pieces of luggage with him that contained necessities for the trade show.  However, they could have been filled with contraband and merriment since nobody, not even no one, looked at our passports or luggage as we entered the country.  Apparently customs was still asleep.

That was OK, we figured we'd have to score merriment in Spain anyway.  My Pal and I used to be really great drinking buddies, but that aspect of my misbehavior had to go in the early 90's due to health considerations.  I had a liver about the size of Wyoming and was going to drink every last drop of alcohol on the planet.  There wouldn't have been enough for you, so I had to stop.  My Bud was still partaking of course, but that particular vehicle was then Out of my league.

So we needed to find some weed.  Simple.  And apparently that was going to be my job.  I mean, I was the interpreter after all. 

I also learned from this very experienced traveler friend of mine a great travel tip.  As soon as we arrived at the airport in Madrid he got a copy of the Metro Map and a regular map of the city.  Above and below ground.  That was it.  With those in tow and a week's metro pass we ended up traveling all over the city for five days for about twenty bucks each.  That would have been one cab ride anywhere.  We went just about everywhere underground, returning a few times rather late at night.  We were never accosted nor did we see any, except at the park one day.  Which I'll get to later.

With maps in hand we took the metro into the city, landing a few blocks from our hotel.  It was way too early to check in, but we got the luggage stashed by bellhop and then off we went on the streets of Madrid.

My companion needed to find a new pair of black dress shoes.  I needed to find some weed.  Since I was the designated interpreter and since I had graduated 8th grade Espanol, I started developing some sort of phrase or question that I would ask someone.  Like a Spanish hippie.  Or Spanish surfer.  If they had those in Madrid.

I developed and I rehearsed.  It was, after all, apparently the main reason I was in Spain.  So that I could score drugs.

"Conozco a la marijuana un picante?"
"Sabe tu marijuana en la suerte?"
"Que tu sabe un marijuana por favor?"
"Donde esta mi pantalon?"

And so on.

Somewhere in our meanderings, besides reveling in all that is Madrid, he found some black dress shoes and we both found a little shop that sold little pipes.  That, you know, you could put some form of merriment in.   Since I was still rehearsing when I bought a pipe, I sort of motioned at the bowl as I looked inquisitively at the sales clerk.  Then I smiled and nodded with arched eyebrows.  As if I was a foreign fool.  Somehow it got through though, he smiled but shook his head no.

Sigh.  Looked like I was still gonna have to come up with something to say.

With empty pipe and new black shoes in tow, we continued on with our Sunday city stroll.  The streets were packed and bustling, pedestrians were everywhere.  It looked like many of Madrid's inhabitants were enjoying a beautiful, leisurely, sunny, big city day.

Meandering the streets of Madrid is still my favorite memory, reveling in the energy filled foreign vibe.  Somewhere along the line we came across yet another packed park or square, where throngs of people would be found hanging out, playing games, enjoying the sunshine.  This park was a little different though, there appeared to be a younger crowd that had congregated.  Some were drinking brown bagged wine, a couple were strumming acoustic guitars.  And then, as I continued my survey, I noticed a couple fellas about twenty feet away passing a lit joint.  Eureka!

As I looked, one of them caught my eye.  Or I caught his.  Maybe both.  However it happened, our eyes met and he motioned me over.

'This is it," my Pal said, nudging me with his elbow.  I meandered over and my new friend handed me the lit joint.  I took a puff, smiled and then passed it on.  Then it was showtime.  The line I had been rehearsing all day.  With perfect enunciation.  In two part harmony.

I began, "Tu sabe marijuana donde a la el adobo?"

He gave me a quizzical look.

"Conozco a la marijuana el donde sabe tu con carne?  Se incendio mi pelo?"

And then, in perfect European English he asked, "What is it you're trying to say?"

Fifteen minutes later we were walking away with a few grams of hash.  That was apparently a lot easier to import across the water from Morocco than marijuana was from elsewhere.  That was fine with us.  We already had a pipe.  Plus I was still smoking cigarettes back then.  Ain't nothing like a little hash laced nicotine coursing through your veins.  That was almost as good as the first smoke of the morning with your first cup of coffee.  Oooh, sigh.  They both still sound pretty good.  Been a while now.

Here's a shot of the pond and fountain at El Parque de Retiro, Madrid's main park.  It was both popular and magnificent, with works of art intermixed with lots of grass and trees.  And people.  Lots of people.


It was at the park that we experienced some local color.  Both fair and foul.  Now that we had a pipe load of happiness to partake of now and again, we were having a great time.  Especially me.  Plus I didn't have to keep repeating some insipid line in my head that wasn't going to work anyway.  As we were strolling along in the park, our mellow Sunday afternoon ambiance was broken by some loud, shrill foreign screaming.

We turned around and noticed a couple of older Asian ladies about a hundred yards away.  One of them had a purse.  The other one, the screaming one, was watching her purse run away in the arms of a thief.  Had the bad boy been somewhat coming in our direction my compadre and I would have certainly engaged.  But since he was running in the opposite direction at a rapid rate of speed there was no way we two middle aged crazies could have caught up.  He was already a few hundred yards away.  That poor lady certainly had better days.  Loose your purse or wallet in a foreign country?  Can you say embassy? 

Smoking merriment can sometimes lead to hunger games, and happily we found a little food trailer type establishment in the park.  He made salami sandwiches, that was it.  Kind of like a hot dog stand, only different.  Which was fine with me, sandwiches are my favorite food.  They're so versatile.

We both ordered a ordered salami sandwich, I mean, that's all he had.  It was real Spanish salami and rough crusted French bread.  How European could you get from one simple meal?

So we got our salami and french bread sandwiches, and that's what we got.  Salami and french bread.  That was it.  No mayo.  No mustard.  No lettuce.  No tomato.  No condiment or vegetable of any kind.  No fruit salad, nothing.

We shrugged.  What the hell, we wanted local color, that's what we got.  Snacks Spaniard style.

Maybe the guy got the bread a few days earlier, maybe rough crust was the way it was.  Either way I could only eat about half the bread.  The roof of my mouth was so tore up from the other half of rough crust that it felt like a tank with steel tread had just done a week's worth of artillery exercises inside up there.   

Once we had finished shredding our mouths, we were off to Plaza de Toros to see the bull fights.  Ole!

I had never been to a bull fight before, I probably won't go again.  It was pretty gruesome to me, and the odds are way stacked in favor of the humans. 

It coulda been the pipe and merriment, it coulda been the fact we were in a foreign country at an event neither one of us had ever witnessed, it doesn't really matter.  We quickly discovered amid all the equine and bovine gory pageantry and hoopla happenin we had no idea what the hell was going on.  Ole!

Fortunately we also quickly discovered we had a bilingual English speaking guy sitting right behind us.  It's amazing how easy it is to find like tongued folk in a space inhabited mostly by other tongued folks.  Especially us speaking English in a jam packed arena mostly speaking Espanol.  He overheard our conversation and stepped right in.

He became our bull fight announcer, explaining what the heck was going on.  Basically in colorful pageantry, a host of folks on horseback kinda stab and gore the bull with a series of slices to several areas of it's anatomy, essentially weakening it before the matador ever enters the arena.  Apparently a bull that had not been gored open in a few strategic locations is much too much of a match for a matador.  So they slice and dice a few choice tendons and ligaments here and there rendering it a veritable roast before the game begins.  Ole.

Then the matador tosses around his colorful cape thingamaroo and eventually he, too, pulls out a sword and tries to hopefully end the bulls life with one quick, decisive slice to the groin.  Or where ever.

If the bull doesn't fall after all that stabbing and goring, he gets let out to pasture, never again to fight.  They won't let him because now he knows and will be even more difficult to try and kill.  Plus, at that stage I think he's earned the right to screw cows and laze about in a meadow filled with daisies.

We saw one bull make it.  Our announcer said that it is very rare.  Ole!

The next day my compadre began his trade show.  I began my solo assault on Madrid.  Walking the streets, my favorite thing to do in any foreign city.  Map and go.  Immersing myself in the bustling vibe.  Having a ball. 

I did go to the Museo del Prado, saw lots of priceless art and antiquities.  I also bought a scarf for my lovely wife from a street vendor.  It became a major Antiques Roadshow find.  I saw the same scarf at the De Young museum in San Francisco a year later selling for almost twenty times what I paid.  Plus it was a scarf.  It folded up into nothing and weighed like two grams.  Nothing like the antique brass candle stand I had to break down and take back with me in a box on my second trip to Amsterdam.

Here's a shot of the Royal Palace.  We went there together I think on that leisurely busy Sunday.  One thing I definitely know, if I ever bought a castle it would need to be in a Mediterranean climate.  Those places are drafty!


Since my Bud had Friday off we took the train out to Segovia, to see to see the remains of the Roman aerial aqueducts.  We had no idea what we were getting into.

Segovia is Spain and old Castile at its best - twisting alleyways, the highest concentration of Romanesque churches in all of Europe, pedestrian streets where no cars are allowed, the aroma of roast suckling pig around every corner - all surrounded by the city's medieval wall which itself is bordered by two rivers and an extensive green-belt park with miles of shaded walks. On the north-west extreme of the wall is the famous Alcázar castle, Alcazar source of inspiration to Walt Disney, and where Queen Isabel promised Columbus the financial backing he needed to discover America. On the south-east extreme is the world renowned Roman Aqueduct, the largest and best preserved of its kind anywhere.he city from 1455 to 1864.

And we were just going for the aqueduct.


We also encountered a dear little old lady outside the cathedral selling absolutely stunning linens.  Incredible stitchery.  Fine detail.  Would have been another fabulous Antiques Road Show purchase but for some idiotic reason we declined.

Then we had some local color for dinner.  It was a pretty upscale establishment with all sorts of military type antiques.  Besides shields and swords, there were helmets and boar heads.  Heavy timber tables and chairs, all with a nice Armada flair.   No Formica there.  We had some pork or sheep or goat meat which was prepared at the table.  Lots of flashy fanfare.  It was almost like we were at a Beni Hana only way different.

We left Segovia about eight that night for the couple hour trip back to Madrid.  Packed the next morning and were off for another play date in that most wonderful of cities, Amsterdam.

I think we stayed at the same hotel, but who cares?  We dropped our luggage off and were off ourselves within an hour.  I have now been to Amsterdam three times.  I think the best way to explore the city is by total immersion.  Hit a cafe, imbibe and then wander.  Or just wander if you don't imbibe.  I have done this both with a map and without.  That Saturday afternoon we went without.  If was fabulous.  We easily got lost and didn't care.  Lovely neighborhoods interlaced by canals were everywhere.

The good news was at our pinnacle of lost-ness we found a cafe, way the heck out somewhere.  I have no idea where.  Besides merriment, they also had a wall of hookahs that were available for in-store use.  So we did.  As we sat there, feeling wonderful about being lost in a simply marvelous city, my eyes wandered over to a bulletin board with a few Polaroids on it.  For all you youngsters out there, a Polaroid is the ancient version of an instant photo.

And one of those photos was of international country superstar Willie Nelson.  Stoned to the bejeezus.  Of course Willie's been known to get "oiled" up now and then, but on this trip it looks like he fell into a whole can of grease.  Kind of like we had.  And who cared?  Certainly not us.

Somehow we found our way back to Central Station, which I swear looks just like Disneyland, especially at night.  A little blurry, but Disneyland nonetheless.  And then we found the hotel.  And the plane the next day.  Back to the states, where I got to be a sputtering mess in a time warp for about five days.  Once again.

It was a memorable trip with a great friend, and like most excursions there's always a few stories to tell.  That's another wonderful aspect of travel.  Besides the initial adventure, the memories can be relished forever. 









Friday, September 4, 2015

Gone Fishin

I've gone fishin most of my life.  Never really gone catchin, pretty much just gone fishin.  There's a difference, you know.  I can be standing next to a buddy, using exactly the same everything he is, and I will watch him pull out fish after fish while I meditate upon still waters. Cast my fate to the loons.

I have caught a few fish over my lifetime, just enough to keep me coming back for more.  Kind of like the frequency of jackpots at any casino out there.  But a big part of the deal for me is just getting out in the wilderness and leaving my obligations behind, if only for a moment or two.  And if you're minimally Type A like I have a propensity to be, having a line in the water means I'm actually doing something. Then I can almost convince myself to relax. 

I guess my fishing preoccupation all started with Dear Old Dad.  I can remember tossing a line out in the Truckee River near Lake Tahoe when I was an elementary school lad.  I also remember trying to toss a line whose hook was then piercing one of my cousin's ears.  I was yanking like hell while she was screaming like hell.  I thought it was caught in the bushes.  It was actually stuck in her ear.  Who knew catching a human being with rod and reel could be so loud?

We also rented a small outboard motor boat a couple times and tossed a few lines out in Lake Tahoe trolling for the famed and elusive Mackinaw Trout.  Used all kinds of fancy and expensive jigs and lures and down riggers and such.  Had rods and reels and nets and all sorts of other specialized trout weaponry.  Sandwiches and soda pop.  Beer. 

I like boat ride picnics, especially on one of the most beautiful lakes on the planet.  I don't think anybody else caught anything either.

Then there was the time we went up to Southern Oregon on our summer vacation.  I was ten.  We went to a lake appropriately called, of all things, Fish Lake.  And it was.  We rented a small motor boat and DOD, my older brother and I chugged out to a snag in the middle of this little lake.  And we limited out on Rainbow Trout.  That was one of the only times I really went a catchin.


There were a few times in my late teens and early twenties I went out with DOD on an ocean vessel to go salmon fishing out of the Golden Gate.  Out of a half dozen trips I think I brought home one salmon.  But the boat ride and beer were always a grand part of the scheme.

We also went Striped Bass fishing in the San Francisco Bay one time.  It was ridiculous.  We were a party of eight out of about twenty fisher people on the boat.  As we left the harbor, just for fun, half the folks had their lines in the water.  The other half, which included me, were getting a good pregame beer buzz going.  Besides, the Captain already said it'd be about thirty minutes before the real fishing began.  He had a plan, and apparently a map.  He was gonna scoot over some little shoal or big rock.  Maybe an enchanted city or Big Bass Hall.  Whatever.  When we did that, he said, we'd be catching some fish.

When zero fish thirty arrived, we cruised over the underwater Bass Basilica.  Every single person on board got a bass on their line.  It was a frantic ten minutes for the deck hand.  When he recovered we made another pass over the forbidden city.  Every single person got a bass on their line again.  After another ten frantic minutes we went back to port since everybody had limited out.  

That was a quick trip, we barely got our beer buzz on.  But it was on enough when I got home.  My lovely wife's Grandparent's were over for dinner at the little just after marriage house we were renting and I arrived a few minutes late.  Late and half lit.  Not a great start.

But Grampy was a fisherman and appreciated my predicament.  Plus after we poured him some wine I enlisted his aid in cleaning the two fish I brought home.  Had I not been half lit, or maybe if I had been more of a catcher than a fisher, maybe I would have thought my next move through a little bit better.

Nevertheless, off to the bathtub we went.  I won't go into extreme details here, but let me say this: NEVER EVER clean a fish larger than a guppy in your bathtub.  EVER.  It may seem like a good idea at the time, but trust me, it isn't.  I was picking up scales for months afterward.  And they weren't the kind scale that usually sits in the bathroom either.  The bathroom also smelled like the inside of a fish monger's locker at the Santa Cruz Wharf for about the rest of the time we lived there, which fortunately was not too much longer.

There was only one other time I was out on the ocean in search of fish.  OK, two times, same trip.

Back in the early 1980's I embarked this lovely foothill locale with my erstwhile brother in law, who, for the sake of this story, we'll call Chuck.  He was living with my lovely wife's twin and he was an avid hunter and fisherman.  So avid, as a matter of fact, people paid him money to take them hunting and fishing.  He was a guide!  Surely I would have good catching fortune on this trip.

We arrived in the South Bay Area the evening before our plane's early morning departure from the then very small San Jose airport.  Our final destination was Mazatlan.  We were going to hook up with two other guys the next morning at the airport.  These were the guys that were paying his freight.

In the meantime, we had a pre-vacation night to contend with.  So we landed at a country rock bar in Woodside, CA, a popular establishment where Chuck used to tend bar.  As it happened, some old friends were playing music that night, friends that had played at our wedding and I hadn't seen in a half dozen years or so.  It was old home week and great to catch up.

As the night progressed, we found ourselves losing energy yet still in full blown alcohol blossom.  OK, we were raging degenerates.  As it sometimes would happen in the early 1980's from time to time, when this sort of situation developed we'd go off in search of an illegal energy elixir that was generally imported from Columbia.  Fortunately Chuck was still well connected in the area, and once that elixir set sail we stayed up all night, continued to drink copious amounts of alcohol and solved most of the world's problems.

Five AM always comes way too early when one has been up all night dancing with the devil.  When we lethargically meandered into the very quiet and non-crowded airport, we found two male humans, our future traveling companions, much in the same sad deteriorating condition we were rapidly becoming.  They had been up all night too, dancing with that same nasty fellow.  I also discovered I knew one of them, we had been all star baseball teammates when we were fifteen!  We miserably kibitzed along, that horrible feeling of insidious overindulgence slowly consuming my core.  It felt like I was beginning to simmer in a steeping cauldron filled with pickled pork intestines and dirty socks. 

As we sat, it was becoming more and more apparent that I was fighting a losing battle of consequence.  I was but a steaming pile of obnoxious vapid vapor.  I felt like it too.

It was about this time in my slow death spiral that a true miracle occurred.  I first heard the clip clop of shoes on the polished floor of the very quiet airport.  Then I witnessed what could only be considered a Saint in casual middle age male clothing walk over and unlock a metal gate.  Without saying a word he lifted it and pushed it open, the doorway to Nirvana.  Angels began to sing.  My heart skipped a beat.  Hallelujah brother, it was 6 AM.  I was saved!

Without saying a word I rose, left my reeking brethren and ambled into the bar.

"Bloody Mary," I said, sitting down on a stool.  Soon I was sipping a little lifeblood.  The vapor began to dissipate.  As did I.  But boy oh boy did I ever begin to feel better.

Chuck was only a couple minutes and half a Mary behind.  He was followed by our other two companions shortly thereafter.  Soon we were all joyously laughing with four full cocktails on the counter.  The first round was already gone.  Rather than go for BM3, Chuckadoodle and the All Star switched to Seven and Sevens.  A couple of those later and we barely made the plane.

This part of the story gets a little sketchy.  I vaguely remember Big C flirting with the stewardess, but my only solid memory of the flight was viewing the magazine pocket on the seat in front of me, which was filled with empty little vodka bottles.  Fifteen or twenty of  'em.  Maybe more.  While the other two traveling companions smartly slept soundly all the way down, we endeavored, apparently, to get higher than cruising altitude.

We arrived in Mazatlan and they found our hotel.  They also found us dinner I'll assume.  Because that's what arrived in the bottom of the toilet bowl a few hours later.  Whatever it was.  I have no idea.  The last thing I remember, after imbibing about 20 or 30 Bloody Mary's throughout the day, was walking down a side street near our hotel with a warm Tecate beer.  I think that put me over the edge.  My eyes started to spin and apparently so did I.  Somehow the boys got me up to the room where I briefly passed out before puking most of the night.  I didn't drink a Bloody Mary again for over a decade.

The next morning, one of our big bill fishing days, we all accidentally slept a little late.  Can't imagine why.  It was fine with me.  I felt like death, or a boiled fish head in a dirty sock.  Once we got marginally rolling, we took a taxi down to the harbor where there is usually a big fleet of beautiful fishing vessels.

Since we were so late, instead of the big lovely fleet Mazatlan usually boasts to take tourists bill fishing for such trophies like Marlin, Swordfish, Dorado, Tuna, or Anchovy, we discovered there was but one sorry, sad, floating piece of shit remaining.  It was unkempt tub.  The Captain and his mate could have been Laurel and Hardy, only they were tan.  Didn't have a lot of teeth and didn't speak English either.  It all looked sketchy, especially the boat, but fishing was the reason we were in Mexico.  Chuckster made the arrangements and we were off.

It's been over a couple decades since I've had a hangover, but if I recall, generally speaking, a loud engine boat ride on the rollicking ocean is usually not conducive towards overall well being.  I was still dry heaving, only instead of a reasonably nice hotel toilet seat on which to rest my cheek I was dealing with a scrap metal hunk of unclean junk that I wouldn't even want to put either one of my other cheeks on.  Ewww.  I was  miserable for hours.

The other boys were up on the deck drinking beer and pretending to fish.  When I wasn't dry heaving into a metal rat hole I was in the cabin, laying down on the stained vinyl seat, my head about six inches from the reverberating and incredibly LOUD sound of the engine.  It was not purring like a cat, it was screeching like a barn yard owl.  It seemed like it would blow a rod or piston at any minute.  Sleep was not an option.  Neither was vertical.  For a while.  After a few hours I slowly began to massage my beleaguered system a cold Modelo or two and I began to feel partially alive.

I eventually clambered up deck to find my compadres hanging out and drinking beer.  It's what fishermen do. Four lines were in the water and the boat was loudly trolling along.  Suddenly one of the poles bent sharply, a fish was on!  Laurel ran over to the pole and set the hook.  Then he brought the pole over to one of the two captain type chairs with the holder thing in the middle.  Crazy Bob was first up and away he went.

Here's the deal with these party boats.  You pay them money and they take you for a boat ride.  There's no skill involved.  Just blind luck.  The Captain's are supposed to know where to go.  What to do.  The deck hand baits the hook and lets out the line.  When there's a bite they set the hook. Then they bring the pole over to whoever.  In our case, we drew lots.  Crazy Bob was number one, I was two, the All Star was three and Chuckarooni, since he was getting paid, was drinking beer.

It was a battle and a fight, a good thirty minutes, but Crazy Bob finally and triumphantly brought the Marlin aboard.  Then he threw up.  See how much fun bill fishing can be?

When we got back to the harbor most of the berths were already occupied by much nicer boats.  They were already back in from their day's voyages, probably because they left hours earlier than we did. When the boats come in they usually proudly display different colored flags representing the fish that were caught that day.  Blue for Marlin, Yellow for Tuna and so on.  Obviously you want to go out with a boat that hoists a lot of flags, but most of them only had two or three flying.  Chuck found what he considered a good one and made arrangements to take it out the next day.  Then we went back to the hotel and actually behaved ourselves so we could make the 5:00 AM departure time.

Next day out, I was first up and got to reel in a Dorado, which is like a snub nosed tuna only different.  The Bass I caught were larger, but the Dorado, by far, put up a much bigger fight.

That was it as far as the fishing was concerned.  We caught nothing else.  I probably brought my usual good luck along for the trip, totally usurping Chuck's usual good guide juju.  We went back to the resort and then out to Carlos and Charlies for dinner.  Dancing on tables and drinking Tequila.  Not us, but it was fun to watch.  We had to blow off a little steam, we were leaving the next day around noon.  Yeah, it was a quick two day fishing trip to Mexico.  Whose idea was this anyway?

The next morning before the flight left I wanted to go into town to find a present for my kids.  Chuck and the All Star accompanied me.  Somewhere in the shopping experience, around 10:00 AM, we stopped in at the Shrimp Bucket for one of their colossal Margaritas.  When it was time for the third, Chuck and the All Star switched to 7 and 7's.  Again.  Detect a pattern here?

We decided, after three cocktails, that we had been too busy since we got to Mexico and we needed to stay a couple more days.  The other two started laughing, they both knew our other traveling companion.  Crazy Bob was beyond type A.  They figured it would take immense conversation and a head lock to convince him to stay.  They said he was so type A that he would have all our bags packed and would be at the front desk waiting for us since we were then running late.

After four cocktails we moseyed back to the hotel.  It was, after all, almost noon.  There, as anticipated, was Crazy Bob, pacing back and forth in front of all our packed bags.  It looked like he might explode.  He came running up to us, three happy, hapless drunks in full relaxed and give a shit regalia.

"Where have you guys been?" he cried, "You're late!  You're late!"

The All Star looked at him and said, almost laughing, "We've decided to stay a couple more days."

Chuck and I were chuckling.  And leaning.  It was all we could do.  It was almost noon and we were already turning into puddles.

Crazy Bob immediately deflated.  He looked at us, and we definitely looked happy, shrugged his shoulders and said, "OK."

That was it.  Easy.  No fight, no argument.  Total capitulation.  We found a suite for the four of us instead of two double rooms and played for a couple days.  Which means we drank.  A lot.

Four guys on a fishing trip to Mexico can be a dangerous thing.  But somehow we all survived.  We made it all the way back to the airport, where we sat, half lit and a lot disheveled.  Four monkeys on a bench, laughing all the way. When nicely attired arriving travelers glanced us a look of concern, we assured them not to worry.  They'd look just like us in a couple days.    

Except for the aforementioned ocean excursions I have mostly fished lakes and rivers.  Streams.  Ponds.  Puddles.  My most memorable lake catch didn't really even involve me actively fishing.  But it did involve me actively pursuing that other most sacred fishing activity, drinking.

It happened one weekend some forty years ago.  A loud and boisterous crew of about twenty-twenty somethings from the bay area converged on Fuller Lake, a lovely little lake in the high sierras.  We were camping and we were playing.  Getting out of the big metropolis.

My lovely wife and I with two others had arrived on a Thursday, assuring the best campsite right on the shore of the lake.  And then the hordes descended.  Four or five tents.  Coolers, ice, beer.  And just for good measure so it wouldn't look like we were too citified, we also had a half dozen lines in the water pretty much all the time.  Then we went back to partying.  Every once in a while one of us would get up and check the lines.  And one of those times I heard an almost angelic male voice, "Dave, you've got a fish on your line."

I scrambled over, and much to my surprise I actually reeled in a nice eighteen inch German Brown Trout.  He sizzled quite nicely with a little butter and lemon over the fire that night.  And that's my most memorable catch.  Pathetic, huh?

There are literally a hundred places within an hour of our location here in the Sierra Nevada foothills to go fishing, Fuller Lake is one of them.  When we first moved up here in 1979, every once in a while after work I would take an evening drive up to Scotts Flat Lake. which is closer.  Toss in a line, smoke a cigar, sip a couple beers.  Those beers and cigar were good.  Never caught a fish.

A few years back my lovely wife wanted to learn how to fish.  From me, I inquired?  I knew she couldn't be too serious.  Part of the deal is just getting out in nature, right?

So one weekend a decade or so ago we went way up high, rented a cabin out of Sierra City high, Yuba Pass type high.  The tippy top of the Sierras high.  And Saturday morning we drove over to Packer Lake and rented a row boat.  Besides having facilities to rent a boat there, Packer Lake also boasts a charming restaurant, lodge and cabins.  The lake itself is small and charming, no motors allowed.

We gathered all our gear into the boat, and as we were rowing out in the small lake another fisherman was coming in.  He had limited out.  He said, "Salmon eggs over by the dam.  It drops off, that's where they're biting!"

We rowed over to the spot, tossed out the anchor as well as a couple salmon egg laced lines.  Within minutes my lovely wife had her first trout on the line.  She was exhilarated with her first catch!   I don't think we limited out, but we did catch five or six, and yes, I caught one or two of those.

We went up to Packer Lake another time later in the fall.  It was bitter cold.  Not Wisconsin ice fishing cold, but high Sierra Nevada Mountain Autumn cold.  Which is cold enough.  We started rowing out, and after we were out about a hundred yards I looked back at the dock and started laughing.

My lovely wife asked, "What's so funny."

I pointed back at the dock where our all our gear and poles still lay.  The boat was empty save for us.

"That's funny," I said, laughing, turning the boat around.

I think we caught two or three trout that outing, but more importantly my lovely wife learned about one of the more subtle and sacred attributes of fishing.  There we were, very early in the morning, bundled up and casting our lines.  There were also about twenty or so other small boats, rafts and canoes dotting the lake.  Shoreline anglers were also scattered here and there along the beautiful, tree studded shoreline.  It was a high sierra morning, quiet and serene.  Then, magically, around 7:30, as the morning sun crested the surrounding peaks, the lake was awash with sunlight and a foreign sound like a lot of tires losing air pressure fast.

"Phissh. Phissh. Phissh."  The parade of sound was bouncing off the granite peaks.  It was the only phish I caught that day.

'What's that?" inquired my lovely wife, looking all around at the surrounding community of anglers and the popping of phish.

"Why darling," I responded, "That would be beer."

Fuller Lake is still a favorite place to go.  It's easily accessible and also on a road that leads to many other high sierra lakes.  If the fish ain't biting at Fuller you can head on up the road.

One memorable excursion and now hallowed family tale involved Fuller Lake and my wonderful father in law.  We two ran up there and had our usual no luck.  But rather than come home empty handed we stopped at the Grass Valley Safeway.  There we bought three two packs of already cleaned Rainbow Trout, a total of six fish.  Making sure to cover the tracks of our ruse, we un-packaged the fish in the grocery store parking lot and put them on a stringer, much to the amusement of several passers by.

When we got home I hosed them off before presentation to the women folk just to top the icing on the lie.  Then we proudly displayed our ill got catch to oohs and ahs of amazement.  Dad and I never caught anything.  Ever.  A complete BBQ trout dinner was almost beyond belief.  Unfortunately the story got stretched too far later that night when "uncovering bark beetles and using them as bait" entered the equation.  Neither Dad nor I could keep a straight face and it all unraveled.

Another time my son and I took our grandson up there to go fishing for his first time.  I think he was four.  Yeah, a little young, but what the hell.  I packed a goody bag which included some yummy hot chocolate and we were off.  My son got in some good fishing, I was pretty involved with our grandson.  It was freezing cold and way early in the morning.  He had an accident and a melt down.  We spent a lot of time in the car with the heater on drinking hot chocolate.

 
When we returned home my lovely wife inquired how the trip went.  I gave her a skeptical look.  While he had played with rod and reel briefly and had brought in a bit of algae, he had tripped, had an accident and a meltdown and had spent most of the time in the car.

But when he was asked how his time went, he excitedly said, "Great Momo.  I even caught some seaweed!"

Ah, perspectives.  It was on that excursion I learned from a couple avid looking fishermen that if there are Osprey present then the fish are surely biting at Fuller.  If they aren't present, not so much.

The next time I was up there with my lovely wife and our son.  Not only were there a couple Osprey in surrounding pine peaks, we witnessed a Bald Eagle dive bomb and yank a trout out of the water.  My lovely wife and son each caught a few fish, I got to watch a Bald Eagle catch one more fish than me.  But I'll tell you what, catching and keeping that vision was better than any old trout might taste.

We were back up at Fuller a month or so ago for my lovely wife's birthday.  Fortunately she caught the first and only trout out of the three of us.  It's in the freezer now.  There were no Osprey or Eagles present.  No wonder we only caught one.

We were using worms for bait that day, and since I wasn't catching any fish I started thinking about this post and a day in the life of one of those worms.  At least that day in the life.  It wasn't pretty.

I mean, first off he was prepackaged in a little Styrofoam cup with eleven other like species.  I mean, what if he didn't like one of his new cell mates?  There was no where to go. 

Then, all of a sudden a couple fingers root around in the cup, eventually pulling his wriggling, slithering body out of the mix.  Next, as he's being ever so roughly handled, a hook gets jammed up either his ass or head, depending on if he's upside down or not.

If that ain't enough, then a little needle gets inserted in whatever end wasn't hooked and air gets blown in so he begins to look like the Nutty Professor.  Only smaller.

Obviously that has to feel remarkably uncomfortable, but the fun continues.  He's then hurled through the air, probably the only true fun of the entire ordeal, but that ends quick when he smacks into the water, eventually getting drawn deep by lead galoshes.  Then he gets to hang there, holding his breath, writhing in agony, until a fish first nibbles and then devours him.

Next time you think you're having a bad day...