If God had intended for me to fly he would have given me feathers. And probably wings.
But to get any place far away in any sort of time frame that makes any sort of sense one has to fly. And then besides the fact we are herded onto a heavy metal tomb that somehow gets way up into the air for an extended period of time, I usually have to wait somewhere along the line too. Double hate whammy.
I used to do airport bars, really well as a matter of fact. But since I haven't had a drink in a couple decades I have had to alter my get on an airplane substance subsistence. Now I usually travel with baked goods that are infused with a wonderful little calming ingredient. And my lovely wife always has Xanax as a back up.
And since I hate to be herded (I guess there's three things I hate) and can't yet afford my own private plane, I have added an extra service onto our flight itinerary that limits our exposure a bit to herding and waiting.
Rather than driving down ourselves and parking in long term parking 800 miles from the terminal, and then waiting for the airport's shuttle service where we then get to be herded on board (with our big fat luggage) and drive around the parking lot like a Pac Man chewing up other travelers until we finally get to go in slow motion towards the terminal, we now do "The Foxen Shuttle" right here at our front door step.
It's a little different than "The Foxen Shuffle", which I'm not even sure is a real thing. Though it probably could be.
Deb Foxen drives us down and picks us up. Ninety bucks each way. I figure we're really only out of pocket for one way, depending on the length of our travel because gas and long term parking easily eats up a hundred if we're gone for a week. If gone for longer we're making money by utilizing her service. She drops us off at the curb and picks us up at the curb. With a smile no less.
If you're local and want a great airport shuttle, call Deb Foxen at 530-263-9669. She's licensed and insured and good people too! She's also on time, spot on, which is sort of important when flying.
I'm also a fan of using a transfer service at the other end of a trip, unless you have family or a friend picking you up. If you've read any of my Europe travel blogs, you'll know I'm a HUGE fan of ihatetaxis.com. Besides having very useful information on every airport in the galaxy, you can also safely and securely book a transfer from your destination airport to wherever you want to go.
All that said we just went to Florida to see our favorite Europe travel companion in-laws, with a quick change plane stop over in St. Louis . We saw the fabled arch from the air and saw a few mid-western old men in shorts and white tennis shoes. Going somewhere. Probably Branson. I'm sure there's more to Missouri and St. Louis, but we only had fifty minutes. Not sure we'll be back. We've only got so much travel time left and that state is not high on the bucket list.
Upon landing in Tampa we immediately discovered Florida is a lot more comfortable climate wise in April than it is in June. Just saying. The last time we were there it was ridiculously hot, and moronically humid. And yuck sweaty. This time, in April, the air was sultry and silky smooth, lightly caressing your skin better that any Oil of Olay commercial ever could.
We went to Florida primarily to visit family, but we also threw in a day road trip 180 miles or south to Naples to visit some old friends. It's always great to catch up, even if it was only for a few hours. And we discovered a couple things on this road trip.
One, most Floridians drive fast on the freeways. And if you're in the far left (fast) lane, 80 MPH is the average speed. You have to move over for now and then for a 90. None of this 65 in the fast lane so that cars that want to go faster have to start passing in the center and slow lanes. Nope, they're serious in Florida. If you get in that left lane you better be prepared to giddy-up.
The other thing we discovered is that when it rains there it does not mess around. The skies can bust loose with a deluge sometimes, simply drenching the surroundings. They can get more rain in forty-five seconds than we do in a week.
Since we were visiting our favorite Europe travel companions the subject of another trip had to come up. And it did. We have tentatively set a date for next year, or maybe 2021, to go to Italy with them.
Why Italy? Well, there was some culinary TV show on in the background one afternoon, and they were talking about Florentine Steak. Which of course hails from Florence. Which is in Italy. It is supposedly the best steak in the universe. According to them. Special cows, special sauce.
We figured, "Hey! If there ever was a reason we needed to go to Italy it might as well be to have a Florentine Steak."
There's also probably a few historic artifacts and priceless art we can view too, but if there ever was a reason to get us off our duffs it might as well be food.
Plus, I will get an opportunity to say "Arrivederci" in the actual country where the language is spoken. See: "Bon Jour, Arrivederci, Por Favor, Where the Hell Am I?"
Before we take off for Italy, which (especially for me) will require a shit ton of pre-planning, we decided to go to the Morse Museum in Winter Park, which only took a few minutes to plan.
The Morse Museum? Why what? What's that? Some place filled with dots and dashes?
Actually, it's not full of codes. The Morse Museum houses the largest collection of Tiffany objects in the world. That's why. What.
On the way to Winter Park we passed through Orlando, where, apparently, every amusement park in the world exists. According to Travel Advisor there's forty-five water and amusement parks in and around Orlando, including but certainly not limited to Universal Studios, Sea World, Disney World, Epcot, Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, a Harry Potter Park and the Holy Land Experience.
The Holy who what?
Yes. Someone has apparently turned the bible into an amusement park.
The amount of construction going on is insane. Buildings, roads, hotels, warehouses. And not small jobs either. I counted thirty-two active high rise cranes in and around Orlando.
According to my lovely sister in law a thousand people a day are moving to Florida. I can believe it. Every single commercial building is a hundred percent occupied. Four lane highways are becoming six lane. And the roads are quite lovely by the way, lacking the potholes, cracked pavement and rough surfaces that are everywhere here in California.
And there are vacant commercial properties for rent everywhere here in California, from our small little country town to the state capital and beyond. Maybe all that tax money is moving from here to Florida.
The Morse Museum is a smallish museum has a number of galleries featuring American art, but their primary exhibit is the work of Louis Comfort Tiffany. Every Antiques Roadshow fan will recognize that name.
From expensive, dazzling and classy diamond jewelry to an amazing array of glass work, the Tiffany name is synonymous with style, elegance and excellence. The museum has a small collection of jewelry, but it does have an extensive collection of glasswork, including lamps and stained glass windows. There's also an incredible "chapel interior" mosaic and glass exhibition that was featured at the Chicago World's Fair in 1893.
Intricately and ornately resplendent, there are thousands upon thousands of small bits and pieces of tile and glass that are interwoven in complex patterns and designs I could only hope to imagine with a decent hit of LSD. The scope and scale are almost beyond comprehension.
If you're ever in Winter Park, possibly for a little baseball (Winter Park is spring training home to many east coast MLB Teams) take a break and check out a little culture. You can see the entire museum in a couple hours and just the Tiffany collection in an hour or so, unless you get lost in a flashback at the chapel interior.
If you're prone to such occurrences you might consider bringing a sandwich, because you might be there all day.
