The following is from "The Smell of Rain on Dust", by Martin Prechtel. If you have recently experienced loss, any kind of loss, or know someone who has, I highly recommend this book. The author presents a convincing argument that most of the world's problems are due to a lack of grieving and actually feeling, really feeling the heart.
Excerpts from the chapter, "Paddles of tears, canoes made out of old songs", beliefs of Central American Indian tribes:
"The old understanding is that when a person dies, that person's spirit needs to begin traveling away from the shores of this beautiful flowering earth across the ocean of time, without ever looking back, to arrive on the concentric shores surrounding and facing this reality we live in called the Beach of Stars, where ideally they are met by their last happy ancestors.
In order for the dead person's traveling soul to reach the opposite shore to be initiated and transformed into a life giving force from a human spirit, all their living friends and relatives must show how deeply they feel the loss of the deceased in a real and honest show of grief.
The distance to the Other Shores cannot be calculated by ordinary human methods, its distance being more akin to something galactic, so the arrival over this ocean of time is not something the deceased's soul can ever accomplish unassisted.
The energy that impulses the dead person's "seed heart" or soul over the ocean of time to the Beach of Stars has to come directly from the grief expressed by the living, by those who have honestly loved the dead person. It is by the presence of their feeling of missing him or her expressed in a collective way that creates "paddles of tears, with canoes made out of old songs," that majestically and assuredly chauffeurs the dead person's disembodied life force right into the arms of the ancestral pool of souls.
If enough friends and relatives give it their all, the soul of the one whose loss they feel so deeply is not only carried safely to the Beach of Stars, but like a baby chick, has enough of a spiritual yolk sac supplied by the spiritual worth of the beauty of the grief and praise expressed to maintain them during the first stages of transformation into an ancestral force."
I read that passage last July to an assembled group of mostly friends of my recently deceased Grandson during a portion of his celebration of life. My daughter put this event together at their farm and mirrored it a bit after a couple of grief retreats she has personally attended since our lives were shattered October 14, 2025. We held two short assemblies underneath the large heritage oak he left this reality, and it all resonated quite extraordinarily with the forty or so attendees.
Last week I was back at the farm helping with harvest. It has been extremely hard for me to go back into those spaces. The echoes of his footsteps were everywhere, as was the tender, joyous sound of his laughter. But this time I noticed his presence was missing from the large shop area we had worked in together for the last couple years. He wasn't there anymore, where I felt him just a scant month or so ago.
The next day my daughter brought up the "Paddles of tears" passage that I had read, and through the soft, bitter tears I have grown accustomed to she commented that he was almost there, to the Beach of Stars.
I said, "I know."
We both could feel this, that he's almost gone, and through our combined tears we were feeling good-bye, again. He's now in the wind, but forever a part of our hearts.
I see Cassius taking flight near the end of this song and video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZyyrnEDDOw&list=PLDq9PQ39JpU3LKyopuETAVWbGAzkKbrZf&index=2
Is it just that we have grieved so much that our hearts feel a little lighter? Or has he truly reached the Beach of Stars? I think both. Does it all sound a little crazy? Maybe, but I can tell you this with unfortunate clarity, NOTHING, and I mean nothing is insane when you've lost a loved one and start walking into this sacred territory. Nothing.
Cassius's death has completely altered my life's course. Instead of piddling around and watching Batman and Leave it to Beaver reruns for the duration of my silver years, looks like I am becoming a warrior of the heart. What is that you may ask? I suppose you could say it is someone that faces the exquisite pain in the heart rather than turn away.
I personally have no choice. My Grandson beckoned me from beyond. A parent or grand parent will many times state that they would lay down and die for their offspring. I certainly did. If that's the case, yet he's already gone, then I suppose this could be considered a cake walk.
Of course, the walk is filled with alligators, anacondas and fire. Searing hot, piercing the heart fucking fire. Over and over and over again.
I suppose I could try to ignore that flame. Many do. Push it down. Eat it away. Drink it away. Pretend it never happened. Deny. Deflect. But where's the adventure in that?
I had no idea how deeply this body can feel. And grief is a body thing, NOT a mental game. I stopped thinking about it early on, and have allowed my intuition and body to guide me through these turbulent waters. No one will ever understand their way out of grief, or think their way out. Grief lives in the body, and it is there it has to be met.
My daughter and I have both chosen to face the fire, to be consumed by the flames. The pain is agonizingly intense, how could all that lost love be anything other?
Fortunately the body is wise. It will only let you endure the pain for so long. And then it stops. Until the next time. A sight. A scent. A sound. It doesn't take much to trigger when you're so open and raw.
There has been another element involved in this for me, which I will get into in a following post. Yeah, I guess I'm back. It's been about three years since I've been writing here. Lol. I have three unfinished posts, I guess I just ran out motivation and things to say. I just did not want to prattle on, although I do that very well.
But these truths that are apart of me now MUST be told and shared. All of this burgeoning love will all be a part of a mass international awakening that is simmering at the froth. With the amount of confusion, chaos, and fear on the planet right now, the time is right. Choose love. Be love. It is what we are and what we are meant to be. Love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w99NAM1eMsg&list=RDw99NAM1eMsg&start_radio=1
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